Setting Boundaries- How to Shift from Work to Play
Posted: Wednesday, March 03, 2010
by Beth Tabak
Starting Now
A reader wrote: Beth, I am successful, in a position I enjoy, and more advanced in my career than I thought possible at my age. My issue is not with work, but play! Intense about my career, I have a hard time relaxing, shifting gears, and just having fun! I tend to bring work home, have my phone and computer nearby at all times, and take a call or work on a project over going out or spending time with friends and family. I feel I need an "on-off switch". How does one transition to play and not always be consumed with work? I want to relax and play, I just do not know how! Thanks! ~ Liz
~ Get to the source of what holds you back- Is there a fear involved? Such as fear of failure, fear of success, fear of relationships, fear of exiting your comfort zone, etc. Is the fear rational? Be brutally honest. Is there something you are avoiding? What is your perception around that fear? Handle the situation. Get assistance, if needed, or shift the perception to support you to take new actions.
~ Know your priorities- What is really important to you now and long-term regarding career and personal life? Make sure the short and long term support each other. How do you really want to use your time so that you have a fulfilling career and life with limited regrets? When you know what is important it becomes easier to make decisions on how to spend your time. After writing down the answers to the questions in this section decide your top 3-5 priorities.
~ Set boundaries- Each moment is given only for that moment, but how you use it shapes a lifetime. Setting boundaries protects your moments, vital to a balanced lifestyle. Now that you know your priorities, what will you say yes' to? What will you say no' to? Set up blocks of time for work and play in a way that you feel comfortable with the balance. Going out twice a month, spending Sundays with family, bringing work home only twice a week, adding rejuvenation breaks, or working Saturdays until noon are just a few examples. Be aware of how you use time and set limits where it is being wasted. Set limits for phone calls, checking e-mail, social networking, etc. An on-off' switch is a good choice. When at work fully commit to work. When with friends and family commit to making the most of those relationships. When it is time to rejuvenate fully commit to rest and relaxation. Pay attention to what your body needs. It will tell you if your focus should be on work, fun, or rest. Just be aware of any self-sabotaging behaviors lurking in the background.
~ Get your head in the game- We are creatures of habit. So when you change behavior you first have to change thought patterns that hold you back. What are you telling yourself? Shift to getting excited about a change. Ease your mind by putting some structure in place to maintain responsibilities; such as certain hours to return calls, having an associate on call' for you, or teaching others when they can easily reach you. If you have to take calls on a day off, schedule a block of time so that you can let go until then. When it is time to have fun, let go. Get in a place of trust that things will work out. Look for opportunities to laugh and do what you really love. A funny thing happens while relaxing and having fun, some of the best ideas pop up (when you are not even trying).
When setting boundaries to balance work and play first get to the source of what is holding you back. Address it. Know what is most important to you now and long-term (career, fitness, family, friends, fun, etc.). Set boundaries to save time to make calls, go jet skiing, complete your project, have dinner and laugh with friends, network, take a dance class, soak in a hot tub, work on a novel, etc. Finally, be open to abandon old habits, step out-of-the-box, try something new, and make a change. Be the sculptor! Create a life and career you can be excited about.
Beth Tabak of www.StartingNowCoaching.com is 100% committed to small business coaching and personal life coaching. She works with big thinkers to be unlimited, stand out in the crowd, and experience the vastness of their abilities. Stop by to say 'hello', and see all that is available to you.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Great tips Beth! We just discussed this in church on Sunday and one of the sayings my pastor said was, "Be All There." You are right that it is a hard struggle. Thanks for reducing that struggle with your tips!
This is great and helpful. Thank you for sharing this information.
Thank you for this article. I enjoyed reading it.
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